The General Consensus

So today I told a fellow colleague about my blog, and quite naturally he asked whats your blog called? When I told him is called Married but Single, it was like he was about to choke. I laughed and asked is there a problem, and he said talk about controversial. To which i answered that it was the very reason I am writing on the issue and he should check it out.

What is it to be Married but single?

What is it to be married but single? The best way to answer this is to break it down.
To be married is if you have gone to court or stood before a pastor/priest and promised each other under oath that you will be together till eternity. Or you have had the whole cultural negotiations done i.e a traditional marriage. At this point the two are one and share everything in their lives on the main or assumed basis of love.

To be single is someone who is unattached, not making any plans with a partner, who makes their own decisions and does not have to answer to anyone. Guys by the way this is my own view, so please feel free to add or subtract.

So to be married but single is when one has all the above in common. How does one find themselves in that situation? Many reasons:-

1. Financial implications when the couple can not stay together because the better half in working in a different country.
2. Working progress, where the spouse is waiting to join the other but can not seem to get their papers in order.
3. Separation, they are not sure where their marriage stands so have given themselves space to review their lives.
4. Spouse behind bars for 20+ years

Really the list is endless, but the reality is people are living married but single in the world over. My question to everyone who reads this blog is," whats your take on this" do you know anyone who is in this situation, or are you in it? How are you dealing with society issues affecting you?  Lets get talking and tackle this head on.

Beating the weather blues

So its officially winter on this side of the world, and so I had to add an extra blanket on my bed and bring in the hot water bottle, but alas nothing beats body heat lol. I think this the worst time of the year for the Married but single (Ms), because this is when it dawns on you that you are truly alone.

But to the beat the blues........the way to go is chocolate, this comes from a very reliable source (D-R. W) If you can't get that then try lots of sugar......sugar donoughts, danish custards,Chelsea buns, hot chocolate, cocoa and more chocolate. I hope you have a high metabolism rate so that you won't gain too much weight.

And stay away from these romantic movies/books that will make you cry and miss you know what?? Rather stick to action, science fiction is not bad either, you will probably have a very interesting dream afterward.....and the days pass by. Which is what we are hoping to achieve right?

So that's my view, how are you beating the weather blues, can a sista get some feedback

ciao

Married but Single

I write this blog as a way of venting some frustrations a married woman has when she is living alone with the kids. I know many of you will identify with a situation like mine, where daddy is in diaspora and you are at home and life goes on. We have our many different reasons for choosing a set up like this one, and one common denominator is financial situation.

Anyways what to do.......you really don't want to get a divorce because it will just complicate your life, coz lets be honest you have become very comfortable with the distance and being an "independent woman" No one to cook for and fuss over. No reporting your every move.

But there comes the lonely nights when you think about him and you miss that warm body in your bed, the sweet nothings, the face the other way you are breathing in my face the list is endless. What does a woman do?? Do you anticipate what you will do the next time you see him, which is probably twice a year or do you look for what the Afrikaner's call a skalempee(sidekick) Do you call upon your bff who probably have their own men they have to attend to??

Help someone lets talk about this, I know there is someone out there in the same dilemma as I am.